7 Seconds
by 1goodfandom
Summary: Based on a College Humor video titled 7 Seconds. Sherlock doesn't think that men really think about sex every 7 seconds, but when John comes into the picture, could he be wrong?
1. Chapter 1

7 Seconds

On Average, Men think about sex every seven seconds.

"False. Incredibly false."

Sherlock believed he could see behind the flaws of this website's research. Men don't think about sex THAT much do they? Impossible.

"John?"

"Yes Sherlock?"

"Question…how often do you think about sex?"

"W-what? What kind of question is that?"

"It's a question. Just answer it."

John walked into the room raising an eyebrow at Sherlock.

"I don't think about sex much at all lately, I live with you! Sometimes I do when I'm with a woman but….."

"Interesting…."

Sherlock turned away from the laptop to see John in his bathrobe and his hair all wet.

1…..2…..3…..

"Way to interrupt my shower."

4….5….

"Yeah I'm sorr-"

6….7….

Suddenly John grabbed the top of his bathroom and pulled it down over his shoulder. His voice sounded, provocative.

"I'm just soaking wet, I don't know what to do…."

"U-uh…John I-"

Sherlock shook his head to snap himself out of this. John tilted his head; his bathrobe was back in its, normal place.

"Yes? What did you want to say?"

"Oh, …nothing, go dry off."

"Um….okay, I will."

John went to dry off and change into some day clothes while Sherlock searched the interwebs. John ventured into the kitchen.

"That was….a strange occurrence. But I'm sure of it. Men do not think about sex that often."

1….2….3…..

John called from the other room.

"Sherlock? Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"No. I'm fine."

4…5….

"Are you sure?"

"Just coffee. Black with two sugars."

6….7…

"If you want….."

An erotic groan came out John's mouth.

" I could give you head."

What did John just say? Was Sherlock hearing things?

"Wh-…What was that?"

John called back to him.

"I was joking Sherlock, your damn decapitated head is still in the fridge!"

Oh, this was certainly starting to concern Sherlock.

Sherlock did more research on this "7 seconds" ordeal. Maybe he was just imagining things. He never really had sexual thoughts about John until this whole idea came about. Well, maybe once or twice.

"Sherlock? Where is my cellphone?"

"Oh I, needed to see who you texted last. For….reasons."

1…..2….3…..

"Sherlock no, I need it back."

4…..5…."

"Well, you're so demanding, maybe you're not ready to reclaim it."

6…7…..

"Sherlock, stop playing around and just give it to me! Please!"

"….what?"

"Give it to me! Just give it to me now! I'm ready!"

"John….oh god John."

"Sherlock, hurry up and give it to me! It's my pho- Sherlock, what are you-?"

Sherlock had John against the wall before he could finish his sentence and stared deeply into his eyes.

"Are you doing this on purpose?"

"D-doing what?"

"….I guess not then…..this is going to be a long day…."


	2. Chapter 2

7 seconds part 2

John sat down at the desk across from Sherlock.

"Sherlock, are you okay? You've been acting strange lately, or, more strange than you usually are."

"John I'm fine, just uh….well bothered by the idiocy of this world."

"Sherlock, no, that's always bothered you but I mean today specifically.

1….2….3….

"Nothing is bothering me. I'm busy."

"Well….Okay then."

4…..5….

"Now if you'll just go eat some jam or whatever you do when I'm preoccupied…"

6….7….

"But Sherlock….don't you want me to suck your dick?"

Sherlock almost fell out of his chair at those words.

"John, what?"

"You heard me! I said you don't have to be a dick about it."

Now Sherlock's mind was definitely playing tricks on him. He was clearly hearing things wrong. John didn't even say what Sherlock heard. Could his brain really being changing the words John's words like that? John would never say such sexual things out in the air like that. Or would he? Maybe John is part of the problem. I mean, Sherlock's only thinking erotic thoughts because of that one, possibly false, fact. John didn't mean to have his words twisted.

"John, stop, okay, please stop this."

"Stop, what? I'm not doing anything!"

"Stop saying such, such provocative things to me! If you want to have sexual relations with me then just be honest."

"Oh god Sherlock, no, what are you even talking about? First of all I told you I'm not gay, "

1….2….3….

"Second, I haven't said a single provocative thing to you ever, "

4…..5…..

"Or at least I think, and third well….well I- "

6….7….

"Who am I kidding…..I…..I want you, okay."

"Oh no, you're doing it. Right now. Do you hear yourself?"

"Sherlock no but I- "

"Damn it John, I don't want to hear it! Just stop talking!"

"Sherlock,….I just told you I wanted you and that's how you respond? "

"Wait…..what?"

"Sherlock, I love you, I want you, I know I've been denying but I can't keep it to myself any longer…but….if that's how you feel then, I'll just go somewhere, I'm sick of you, ugh."

John gets up to leave the flat, to blow of some steam Sherlock just boiled up. He didn't realize what was actually going on.

"John wait, wait, no, you don't understand. God, I did not expect you to say that."

What an unlucky day for Sherlock. He grabbed John's hand and turned him around to face him.

"John, I've been hearing things. I've been hearing words leave your mouth that aren't the words that you're truly speaking. Every 7 seconds, alright. Almost every damn 7 seconds…I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

John still appeared unamused.

"Well I take back what I said I….I think I was just speaking on some sort of weird instin-"

Sherlock interrupts John was a violent kiss forced upon his lips. He grabs John's head to make the kiss tighter. The kiss didn't stop until the sound of Ms. Hudson's light footsteps came from the kitchen. She came around the corner to see what they were up to.

"I heard yelling earlier, is everything alright between you two?"

John and Sherlock looked at each other then back to Ms. Hudson.

"We're fine."

"Yes, fine indeed."

Ms. Hudson smiled.

"Just wanted to make sure. And you two dearies can continue. Don't let me stop you."

As soon as she left, they both blushed with intensity and resumed their intimate kiss. Which, lasted far more than 7 seconds.


End file.
